Today I had my science exam, which went pretty well. right now, I am outside tanning, since that’s the best way I can use up this beautiful weather. I love summer. I absolutely love it. I love everything about it, I guess. I mean, I just want there to be a little change. Summer romances sound fun, and so do bonfires by the beach. Parties sound awesome, too. That’s what I want this summer, a little change. I don’t like change all that much, but I feel the need to take risks. We don’t live on this planet forever, so we might as well take some risks and have tons of fun. It’s better to regret the chances taken then regretting the chances not taken. Summer 2014, I am ready to take risks and bear the changes.
Last night, I had a crazy dream – about Jamie. So we were camping or something with my religion class on Lake Ontario, and I had a tent to myself. It was time to make s’mores, and Jamie sort of knocked on the tent to see if I was coming. The problem was I was in my towel because I just had a shower (don’t worry, I’m questioning what I dream about, too). So, Jamie asked if he could come in, while he was unzipping the tent. At that same moment, I was getting dressed. So, I quickly grabbed the towel and let Jamie in. He just sort of stared at me, and then asked if I wanted to get s’mores with him. I stopped and looked at him, and (this is really weird I don’t know why I did this) said, “Jamie, I know I am really quiet around you but that’s only because I really like you. I always have this feeling that whenever I say something you are going to judge me, so I prefer to keep my mouth shut. I know I’m not the most outgoing person or the prettiest person you know, but I seriously really do like you. I mean, this is really awkward and stupid, but I’m sorry for acting so far away from you, when all I wanted to do was stay near you. I love how you can always bring a smile to my face, and I’m personally in love with your personality. So yeah, I do like you, and sorry for giving you mixed signals this past semester.” After that, he just stared at me and we got s’mores. The dream skipped to a few days later when we are at school, and I saw Jamie in the hallway. He was looking at me, but I didn’t look at him. I felt doubts and fears and things whenever he looked at me, because I wanted to know what he was thinking for once. But he never did. I was stupid though, because I should have said hi to him, at least. Even friends say hi to each other. I was really sad when I woke up, partly because I wish I did tell Jamie my feelings for him, and because I didn’t say hi after availing my inner most thoughts to him.